Write it as you would say it
'Morning Dad — kettle's on at yours I hope. Anna rings at four.' That is a message from a person. 'REMINDER: Task — hydration' is a message from a system, and it gets ignored within a week.
Use their name, your voice, and no more than one sentence.
Timing beats content
- Send it when the action can actually happen, not an hour before.
- Keep the same times daily so the rhythm does the work.
- Avoid the difficult hour itself — arrive just before it.
- One follow-up at most. Two becomes nagging.
Ask, do not test
Never phrase a reminder so it exposes a failure. 'Did you remember your lunch?' invites a defensive answer. 'Lunch time — there's soup in the fridge' does not.
The same rule applies to your phone calls. Lead with something other than a checklist.
Let them see and change it
Anything set up behind someone's back gets resented when discovered. Show them the schedule, agree it together, and make clear it can be changed or stopped at any time. Consent is what turns prompting into support.
The wider picture
5.0 million
people in England and Wales provide unpaid care, according to the 2021 Census.