--- title: "Should you remind someone they have dementia?" description: "Whether to tell or remind a person about their dementia diagnosis, what UK dementia practice suggests, and gentler ways to respond to the question." lang: en-GB json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk/#organization", "name": "You Care Reminders", "url": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk", "email": "hello@youcarereminders.co.uk", "areaServed": "GB" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk/#website", "name": "You Care Reminders", "url": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk", "publisher": { "@id": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk/#organization" }, "inLanguage": "en-GB" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "Isn't this lying to them?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "No. Choosing which true thing to say, and how much of it, is not deception. It is standard, compassionate practice." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Should we tell them the diagnosis at all?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "At diagnosis, yes — people have a right to know about their own health and to make plans while they can. The question here is about repeating it later." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "What if they ask directly whether they have dementia?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Answer honestly but briefly, gauge the distress, and follow with reassurance about what is being done. Then move gently on." } } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Dementia care at home", "item": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk/dementia-care-at-home" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Should you remind them they have dementia?", "item": "https://youcarereminders.co.uk/should-you-remind-someone-they-have-dementia" } ] } ] --- [You Care Reminders Caregiver Support ](/) [Home](/)[How it works](/features)[Pricing](/pricing)[Guides](/guides)[FAQ](/faq)[Contact](/contact) [Sign in](/login)[Get started](/signup) 1. [Home](/) 2. [Dementia care at home](/dementia-care-at-home) 3. Should you remind them they have dementia? Difficult questions # Should you remind them they have dementia? It is one of the hardest questions in family care, and it comes up when they ask why they cannot remember something. Short answer Usually not. Repeating a diagnosis someone cannot retain means they experience the shock of it again each time, with no benefit. Answer the worry underneath instead, honestly and without dwelling on the label. [Begin caring today for free](/signup)[How it works](/features) ## Why repeating it usually harms If the diagnosis cannot be held onto, restating it delivers fresh distress each time without producing understanding. Families who have tried it generally describe the same outcome: tears, then forgetting, then the same question an hour later. The exception is early on, where someone can retain the information and is actively making decisions about their own life. Then honesty matters a great deal. ## What to say instead - "Your memory's been playing up lately — the doctor knows about it and we're keeping an eye on it." - "You're not going mad, it's just been happening more. It's not your fault." - "Don't worry, I've written it down for us both." - Then move to something concrete: a cup of tea, a task, going outside. ## The wider principle Answer the emotion, not the fact. Most distressing questions in dementia are asking for reassurance rather than information, and reassurance can be given truthfully without the clinical detail. ## Where to get proper guidance Alzheimer's Society and Dementia UK both run helplines staffed by people who deal with these conversations daily. If you are struggling with what to say, ringing them is time well spent. ## Being straight with you You Care Reminders is a non-medical wellness tool, not a monitoring service and not an alarm. Delivery is best effort rather than guaranteed, and it must not be used for medication reminders. If you are worried about someone's health, speak to their GP; in an emergency, call 999. ## Questions carers ask ### Isn't this lying to them? ### Should we tell them the diagnosis at all? ### What if they ask directly whether they have dementia? ## Read next - [Parent repeats the same question](/parent-repeats-the-same-question) - [How to remind someone with dementia](/how-to-remind-someone-with-dementia) - [Dementia care at home](/dementia-care-at-home) - [MCI vs early dementia](/mci-vs-early-dementia) ## Set the first reminder tonight It takes about five minutes, costs nothing to start, and the person you care for has nothing to install. [Begin caring today for free](/signup)[See plans](/pricing) You Care Reminders Thoughtful reminders that help families stay quietly connected to the people they love. Wellness support, not medical advice. 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