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title: "When a parent forgets they have eaten: how to respond"
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1.  [Home](/)
2.  [Dementia care at home](/dementia-care-at-home)
3.  "I haven't had anything all day" 

Eating and memory

# "I haven't had anything all day"

It is said with complete conviction an hour after lunch, and correcting it never helps. The task is not to win the point but to make the hour pass comfortably.

Short answer

Do not correct or argue. Acknowledge the feeling, offer a small snack or a drink, and change the subject. Leaving visible evidence of the meal and spacing food into smaller, more frequent portions reduces how often it comes up.

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## Why it happens

Short-term memory loses the event of the meal while the body's own fullness signals also weaken. The person is not being difficult and is not lying — the memory genuinely is not there.

Anxiety plays a part too. Food is safety, and asking about it can be a way of asking whether everything is alright.

## What to say

-   "Supper's not long off — shall we have a biscuit and a cup of tea first?" 
-   "You're right, it's been a while. Let's get you something small now." 
-   Avoid "you've just eaten", which invites a disagreement neither of you can win. 
-   Redirect to an activity after the snack rather than leaving the hour empty. 

## Practical changes that reduce the frequency

Leave the plate or cup on the side for a while after a meal — visible evidence does more than explanation. Serving five or six small portions across the day instead of three meals means there is nearly always something recent to point to.

Keep low-risk snacks accessible so a request can be met immediately rather than becoming a negotiation.

## When to get help

If weight is dropping, if the same conversation happens through the night, or if eating becomes distressing, speak to the GP or memory service. A dietitian referral is available on the NHS and is worth asking for.

## The wider picture

roughly 6 in 10

people with dementia in the UK live in their own home, not in care.

Source: [Alzheimer's Society](https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-us/news-and-media/facts-media)

## Being straight with you

You Care Reminders is a non-medical wellness tool, not a monitoring service and not an alarm. Delivery is best effort rather than guaranteed, and it must not be used for medication reminders. If you are worried about someone's health, speak to their GP; in an emergency, call 999.

## Questions carers ask

### Could they actually be overeating?

### Is it cruel to go along with it?

### Can reminders help here?

## Read next

-   [Skipped meals in older adults](/skipped-meals-older-adults)
-   [Dementia mealtime routine](/dementia-mealtime-routine)
-   [Parent repeats the same question](/parent-repeats-the-same-question)
-   [Dementia care at home](/dementia-care-at-home)

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