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title: "How to remind someone with dementia without upsetting them"
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1.  [Home](/)
2.  [Dementia care at home](/dementia-care-at-home)
3.  How to give a reminder that lands 

How to

# How to give a reminder that lands

The same instruction can be followed easily or refused entirely depending on how it is worded and when it arrives.

Short answer

One step, short words, warm tone, same time every day, and never a reminder that points out the forgetting. Give the person something to do, not something they failed to do.

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01 

## One thing at a time

"Have a drink and then we'll get your coat on" is two instructions and usually produces neither. Say the first, wait, then say the second.

02 

## Use the wording they use

"Time for your cuppa" beats "hydration reminder" every single time. Familiar phrases are processed faster and feel like a person rather than a system.

03 

## Never reference the forgetting

"You forgot again" and "don't forget" both point at the deficit. "Time for lunch" points at the action. The second is followed far more often and costs nothing in dignity.

04 

## Same time, same words

Repetition is what turns a prompt into a habit. Varying the wording daily makes each message new and unfamiliar, which is exactly the wrong thing.

05 

## Pick the right moment

Late afternoon is a difficult window for many people with dementia. Put important prompts in the morning where possible, and land any late-day prompt before the difficult hour, not during it.

## Being straight with you

You Care Reminders is a non-medical wellness tool, not a monitoring service and not an alarm. Delivery is best effort rather than guaranteed, and it must not be used for medication reminders. If you are worried about someone's health, speak to their GP; in an emergency, call 999.

## Questions carers ask

### Written or spoken?

### How many a day?

### Should they know who it is from?

## Read next

-   [Do reminder apps work for dementia?](/do-reminder-apps-work-for-dementia)
-   [Prompts without taking over](/prompts-without-taking-over)
-   [How many reminders a day is too many?](/how-many-reminders-a-day-is-too-many)
-   [Daily routine for dementia](/daily-routine-for-dementia)

## Set the first reminder tonight

It takes about five minutes, costs nothing to start, and the person you care for has nothing to install.

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Wellness support, not medical advice.

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-   [Dementia clocks](/dementia-clocks)
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